Today’s post is about being pushy…as in willing to stomp all over other peoples’ wishes and feelings to get what we want.

Pushy is NOT cool.

Few like being on the receiving end of pushy.

Recently, Caroline Hax, my very favorite advice columnist (now that Erma Bombeck is gone), really socked it to a lady who’d had the gall to show up for a visit with her daughter-in-law even though DIL had told her, “today is not convenient.” 

Caroline’s readers’ speculation about why DIL had wanted to scuttle mother-in-law’s visit summoned unpleasant memories from back (w-a-a-y back) when I was a young mom with two boys, and a house in chronic disarray. I remember working myself into an absolute panic when my spouse’s parents were scheduled to visit. I’d rush around frantically scraping cat hair off furniture and cramming toys, cloths, and other clutter into drawers and under beds. Larger items got stashed in the master bedroom, where I hoped to God my MIL wouldn’t venture.

People have reasons for taking the positions they do – reasons that can be hard for others to guess or intuit. For example, my husband’s mother, a pleasant woman whose home was always immaculate, likely had no idea how much stress her impending presence caused  non-neat-freak me.

Which is why another person’s “no” must be respected – even when, under the same circumstances, our response would be an unhesitating “yes.”

Don’t be pushy.